"I’m going to say something now, Sophie, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to say anything back, so I’m going to hang up right away — I love you, Sophie. Bye" is the story of my whole life. That and "It’s just if something funny happens on the way to the deli, you’ll only tell one person and that’ll be Patch and I’ll never hear about it." And "SOPHIE! SOPHIE! SOPHIE! SOPHIE!" Except I do that part just internally because I have a lot of pride.
how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.
like isn’t just like having sex idgi?
This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.
Just. Like. Having. Sex.
"I don’t understand a single solitary thing about your woman parts, but by all means let me legislate how you’re allowed to use them." —White guys
Ugh. Old white dudes.
The OP made me laugh so hard. My first, immediate thought was, “Well… Hold on while I make a list of the reasons.”
I can’t help but hope that no woman is having sex with that dude - or anyone like him - because if one is she’s probably not happy about it.
I’m not in the swing of things
But what I really mean is
Not in the swing of things yet
Let’s hold hands on the porch swing under the moon
While the wind through the willows plays us a tune
We can lie on a blanket out back in the yard
And wish for our future on a far away star
(Source: whoa-feisty-pants, via chaptertwelve)